​How can it be already/only 18 years since I was able to hold my son's hand for the last time??? In many ways, it seems like so long ago, yet, to the very core of my being...it will always feel like it was yesterday. After nearly two decades have come and gone, it is not at all surprising to say that a lot has happened and changed since that day, but I am still constantly drawn back to every laugh and cry, smile and scream, and the hugs brought on by joy, sorrow, and complete devastation that hung over my family after Darrel was diagnosed with neuroblastoma in September of 2005. Many people may want to put aside such harsh and emotional memories, but I can not and will not. What Darrel; and other children fighting their own personal battles with childhood cancer have endured, and unfortunately still may endure, should not be taken lightly, simply forgotten or diminished because it makes some feel uncomfortable. Until you've walked the halls of the 8th Floor at the Hospital For Sick Children in Toronto and looked in the eyes of those kids, you have no idea what feeling uncomfortable is!

That being said, Life does continue to go on. Though I've had several different positions over 39+ years, I'm still working at the same Grocery Store. Barring winning the Lottery, I've probably still have another 11 years before even thinking about retiring. O Bother. I guess there will be some places where I'll be able to get the Seniors' Discount next April (a few start at age 55), though I don't want to even think about being old enough to qualify for such a thing. Kira has been at her current job for almost a year now, and is thriving in her position, as expected. Lauren, Jacob, and my granddaughter Hannah are all happy and healthy out in Alberta. I haven't been out to see them since last December, but I do get constant updates, photos, and FaceTimes throughout the year. Hopefully there will be a visit in the near future, but I'll have to wait and see how everyone's schedules line-up. As old as this makes me feel, my father (Grandpa with the Car, as Darrel would call him) will be turning 79 next week! I still recall how old I thought he was when he turned 50, and look at us both now.

Over the years, I've taken part in many different fundraisers for Childhood Cancer. This coming Saturday, it will be the Kitchener Kids with Cancer Run/Walk, in support of the Pediatric Oncology Group of Ontario (POGO). While I did attend the event last year, it was too late for me to register. The atmosphere will be different than when Team Darrel took part in the Canadian Cancer Society's "Relay For Life", I'm confident that there will still be many participants sharing their personal stories throughout the morning. If you wish to consider sponsoring me, the Link is below.

https://raceroster.com/events/2025/96413/kitchener-kids-with-cancer-2025/pledge/participant/38603563


Thanks again for stopping by to remember Darrel today. Love and Miss You Little Man

*************************

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, so please consider turning your Social Media Gold to show your support. Thank You


*************************

I called this Blog "18...and Life (Part 2)",  as I had previously called my May 2018 (for Darrel's 18th Birthday) by the same name. Seemed like an appropriate title for this year still, so I decided to use it again. 

Today Darrel would/could/should have turned 25...joining the "Quarter Century Club"...a "milestone moment" where an individual often examines and evaluates where they are in their life, and where they want to be in the future. Childhood Cancer and Neuroblastoma denied Darrel of ever having this kind of personal reflection, and denied all those who knew my son, the past nearly 18 years with him in our lives. In my 25th year, I would be married, start my first full time job, and Darrel's sister Kira would soon arrive. Of course, I had previous achievements before I reached that age, and have done some other noteworthy things since then, but we often look at the arbitrary date goalposts of being 25 and/or 50 as the standards to go by. I can gaze in amazement where both Kira and Lauren are in their respective lives today, but Darrel will remain Forever 7, and that will never change. Even after all this time, it still feels like yesterday...with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

With all the advances in Artificial Intelligence, there are countless Apps that can age or de-age any photo in mere seconds. While they are in no way completely accurate, I sometimes want to do this with a photo of Darrel. The problem is, once I see it, I can never unsee it! I never really thought I looked much like my father growing up, but going through old Family Albums now, I could swear it was me in those colourful 70s clothes...but it is not. I have seen different physical traits from each side of the family in both of my daughters, in varying degrees, over the years too. And even now, with my granddaughter, who just turned 1 last week, she looks so much like Lauren in some photos, and yet has facial expressions that are more like her father in a shot taken only minutes later. The whole Genetics, and Nature vs. Nurture can be quite fascinating to observe, but while somewhat curious, I would never be able to put that "Genie back in the Bottle" if I were ever to input that information into some AI program. Better to leave this option alone...for my own peace of mind.

As my memories of Darrel are frozen in time, today there will be Chicken McNuggets, Apple Juice, and a visit to Stait Park (the unofficial Home of Darrel's Playground). It was a bit more of a challenge to Ring Pops for his Birthday this year. Though they will never actually be consumed, sentimental (or demented) me still purchases new ones every May and September. Ever since the time that Darrel almost overdosed on Flintstone Vitamins, because his supply of Ring Pops ran out, I've always kept some on hand. I did eventually find some, which was a relief, as it probably would have bothered me on some level if I had been unsuccessful in my search. A 25 year old Darrel would have no desire in celebrating his birthday with any of things, but it's all I can do.

Happy Birthday Darrel

Love and Miss You Little Man

*************************

Just A Reminder that the International Neuroblastoma Awareness Week will be taking place from June 9th to June 15th, 2025

http://www.facebook.com/NBawarenessweek