Even after 17 years, Darrel's death still can, and usually does, hit me as though it happened just yesterday. As I've said before, the day that thinking about my son does not produce some kind of an emotional response, is the day I know I will need help. When a new Department Manager recently asked what I was going to be doing on my Vacation this week, and I said nothing, he wondered aloud why I would take it so late in the Season then. Though it was an innocent and casual small-talk type question, I let him know why I selected this week, as well as the last week in May every year for my Holidays. It is not that I don't want to be around other people, but these are two times of the year I want to feel whatever I feel...whenever I feel it. No worries about any unexpected triggers, setting off a short fuse, or even behaving in an uncharacteristic manner for me. The likelihood of such a thing happening is quite rare, but putting in a little buffer room isn't such a bad idea either. Working in Retail, I come in contact with a lot of people, both staff and customers, which can often be unexpectedly harsh and/or stressful enough on the best of days.
Lauren and Jacob have been sending me a steady stream of Photos of my granddaughter Hannah. We were out to Alberta to meet her shortly after she was born, but children at this age change almost on a daily basis. I'm hoping to get out again before the end of the year, but you never know how/if/when everyone's schedules will line up. Either way, I'm certainly grateful that modern technology allows us to still keep in close contact from across the country.
I spent much of the day at the hospital in Fergus today, undergoing a routine medical procedure. While it may carry the old Groves Memorial Hospital name, it is an entirely new building, and not the same one in which Lauren and Darrel were born (Kira was born in Brantford while we were living there). Though the majority of Darrel's treatments were either in Toronto or Kitchener, there were still some visits for him to the old Groves. Being in a hospital with direct ties to Darrel over those years might have added another level of uncomfortableness to the events of the day, which I'm glad were avoided.
A couple of years ago, also on a day in early September, I ran into Doctor Wilson, who looked after Darrel while he was in Kitchener's Grand River Hospital. I didn't say anything to him then (as we were at Grand River visiting my mother at the time), but I got the impression he recognized my face, though not knowing exactly from where. Doctor Wilson and Head Pediatric Oncology Nurse Patti Bambury always treated Darrel amazingly well every time he was having his Counts checked, or when he was admitted to the Ward.
On September 9, 2007, even though it was a Sunday, they were in constant contact with us in Fergus, getting updates, and ordering changes to Pain Management immediately as needed. Darrel's mother, being a nurse, was given permission to adjust the Pain Pump/"Dance Partner", and medications as requested by them, without first waiting for the Homecare Nurse's arrival. Wilson and Bambury would go even further beyond any professional expectations, and drive to Fergus later that night, after Darrel was taken from his family forevermore , to sign and notarize all the medical and legal paperwork...then and there...on the spot. By doing so, Darrel would never be poked and prodded by anyone ever again, and was allowed to spend one final night in our Home. This kindness, generosity, and thoughtfulness will never be forgotten by me.
Love and Miss You Little Man
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On July 26, 2024, the Darrel's Playground website surpassed the 65,000 Hits threshold. Though there are now seldom Updates to the Site, especially with the Twitter/X link anymore, the fact that we are still getting so many new visitors makes me feel quite thankful.
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September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, so please consider turning your Social Media GOLD to honour all the children who have, are, and will battle one of the many forms of childhood cancer in the future.
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