DECEMBER 22, 2013 ~ SHERRY BLEVINS ~
IN MEMORY OF MY SON AND ALL OTHER CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN GONE TOO SOON
~ YOU MAY SHARE THIS NOTE ~ LEAVE IT EXACTLY AS IT IS PLEASE ~
" HOW DO WE HANDLE HOLIDAYS AND AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE OTHER CHILDREN.....?????"
I don't know which question makes me the maddest....but here goes.... How do we handle holidays? We really don't handle them well.....For you see, we put on a MASK so nobody knows what we are holding inside that is ripping our Hearts out.... For those that this is their Angel's first Christmas in Heaven.....they are broken....they hurt.....they are angry.....and there are so many more feelings that these Angel Parent's and Angel Grandparent's are experiencing on their Angel's First Christmas in Heaven.....I totally believe that at first we are all in a fog and stay that way in order to just get through the day and day's. Personally I can say that with time it does get easier, but it takes time to heal what can be healed.....There are so many steps we must take and even those that we take backwards have to be walked....
While so many people are happy and celebrating.....we are deciding what types of flowers to take to our Angel's grave for Christmas....perhaps a minature Christmas Tree.... As Christmas nears each of us will have an empty chair at the table....perhaps an empty stocking that will never be filled again....a hole in our heart that remains there forever....songs that we hear and burst into tears....the Christmas tree that some of us have still never been able to put back up....a special ornament or more that we hang in memory of our child or grandchild gone too soon....a Christmas photo in which we are reminded that part of us is missing in....Christmas lights that our child so enjoyed looking at....and many other things that we used to do but no longer
are able to do....these are some of the things that we have been cheated out of
when we lost our child....but what we do have is our memories....Our Child is,
Our Child was, and our Child will always be....So we have to learn to wear these
Ugly Shoes that only a Parent or Grandparent can understand.
At Least you Still Have Other Children!!! Where do people come up with something like that I ask? What does it matter how many children we have still here with us......we have still suffered the worse loss a person can imagine....Each of our Children are one in themselves.....A child or grandchild that has died cannot be replaced....But remember what each of us do have....We have memories that nobody or nothing can take away or change....Those memories make us know that our child was.....our child is....and our child will forever be a part of us....Nothing can change that....Would the NORMAL person as they are called give up one of their Children? I think not.....We had no choice in the matter and the other Children that we still have
here on earth....we thank God for them always....
I leave you all with this thought...Please understand that our
loss can or will never be replaced...You can't replace a child and it doesn't
matter how many other children you have....Each of them are
THE STEPPING STONES ~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN~ WHAT WE AS GRIEVING
PARENT'S AND GRANDPARENT'S GO THROUGH EACH AND EVERY DAY...
...Come, take my hand, the road is long...We must travel by stepping stones....No, you're not alone, I'll go with you...I know the road well, I've been there...Don't fear the darkness, I'll be there with you...We must take one step at a time...But remember we may have to stop awhile...It is a long way to the other side...And there may be obstacles.....We have many stones to cross....Some are bigger than others...Shock, denial and anger to start....Then comes guilt, despair and loneliness...It's a hard road to travel, but it must be done...It's the only way to reach the other side...Come, slip
your hand in mine...What? Oh, yes, it's strong, I've held so many hands like
yours...Yes, mine was one time small and weak like yours....Once, you see, I had
to take someone's hand in order to take the first step....Oops! You've stumbled;
go ahead and cry. ..Don't be ashamed; I understand....Let's wait here awhile and
get your breath....When you're stronger we'll go on, one step at a time,...There's no need to hurry....Say, it's nice to hear you laugh....Yes, I agree, The memories you shared are good....Look, we're halfway there now; I can see the other side....It looks so warm and sunny....Oh, have you noticed, we're nearing the last stone and you're standing alone? We've reached the other side. But wait, look back, someone is standing there....They are alone and want to cross the stepping stones.....I'd better go, they need my help...What? Are you sure? Why, yes, go ahead. ...I'll wait, you know the way, you've been there...Yes, I agree. It's your turn, my friend....To help someone else cross the stepping stone.
IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY SON
JAMES IRVIN "J.D." SCROGGINS