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Sept 9/20 - The Year That Wasn't

9/9/2020

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Without much doubt, for the majority of us, 2020 has unfolded, and continues to play-out in ways nobody could have thought possible. All the hopes, dreams, and well thought out plans for this year were soon to laid to waste by the fear, paranoia and the realities caused by COVID-19, as well as the fallout from our respective government's actions, reactions, and/or inactions. As people we know and love took ill and/or died, there was, and also is, a huge financial toll on both businesses and individuals throughout the World. No one could have expected all that has happened since late February, nor does anyone have a Crystal Ball to show them what is to come in the near future. Will there be a Vaccine??? Will there be a Second Wave during the Flu Season???

On a certain level, this strangely reminds me of how 2007 was for my family. The year began with a small sense of optimism, with Darrel working with a tutor to potentially go back to school, not as many extended hospital stays, and all five of us spending more time under the same roof than apart for the first time in a long time. We all were aware that there would be many hurdles still to overcome, but for an ever brief time, we almost came to believe that we could be one of the more fortunate families battling against neuroblastoma. The Scan results from early February, and even worse information at Easter time were both brutal and devastating reminders that childhood cancer knows no limits, and rarely shows any mercy.

I have discussed much of what happened during those last few months in previous Blogs, but needless to say, a great many of those hours, days and months are full of moments that blur together in a soupy haze, while others consist of memories that I can still remember in every precise and painful detail 13 years later. After Darrel's death on September 9, 2007, as we attempted to pick up the shambles of our forever broken family, we had no idea how we would cope, or what a "new normal", a normal missing Darrel, could/would/or should even look like. How would this affect my marriage??? How would Kira and Lauren be able to come to terms with losing their brother??? Questions without Answers...for many of us, that is what 2020 has become, much like 2007 was for my family. And just as there will be potential repercussions of COVID to our society for many years to come, adapting to having Darrel taken far too early from us drastically altered the path our lives seemed to be heading before we ever heard the word "neuroblastoma". Both of these are years that I would much sooner forget ever existed, but that is not the way of things. Time does NOT heal ALL wounds, and it seldom lets you choose what to remember and what it allows you to forget.

On Monday, Darrel's dog Lady celebrated her 15th Birthday! I never was much of a "Dog Person", but shortly after he was diagnosed, Darrel, said he wanted a dog, so that is when Lady came into our family. She may be partially blind now, has a few medical issues customary to small breed dogs, and not as sure of her footing as she once was, but Lady is still pretty much the same dog she was when Darrel with still with us. I often think back to Darrel's Visitations at the Funeral Home, and how Lady just curled up on one of Darrel's blankets we had placed up by his Urn. You could almost tell that she knew that she would never ever see her Best Friend again, and she was trying to remain as dignified and calm as she could, for fear of being taken elsewhere. Every once in a while she would wander around and check out, and even greet some of the long line-up of visitors, but would slowly and quietly make her way back to Darrel's side...one last time. I don't recall her ever barking, growling, becoming unsettled or even needing out during that time, but that was one of the more blurry moments after Darrel's passing for me. To this day, I am still so amazed and thankful that the Funeral Home had been so accommodating and insightful from the moment they heard that Darrel had died (and even before, as one of the Funeral Directors lived just down the street from us, and could tell by the comings and goings from our place that we would be contacting him soon).  I have never heard of or seen a dog present at a Funeral before or since. It may seem like a small and insignificant gesture, but for my family, it a huge difference.

Later this month, on September 25, it will mark 3 years since my mother passed away. The Love and Bond between a parent and a child is unmatched by anything, but a close second is that between a grandparent and their grandchildren. My Parents (Grandpa and Grandma with the Car according to Darrel) had been there to help us with each of the kids whenever we needed them.  It was a bit more difficult at first, when we lived in Brantford and Barrie with Kira, but we were back in Fergus again before Lauren and Darrel were born. There was Pure Joy in their faces every opportunity they had to share with my kids. This was even more true after Darrel was diagnosed with cancer. My Parents took a more active role in keeping a regular routine for my girls when Darrel and his mother were at SickKids in Toronto. As I was working steady Nights, the girls would sleep and spend a great deal of their time with my mother and father. My mother would also help out with the cooking, cleaning, and laundry duties, while still being at her work Full Time, and maintaining their own house too. For some families this would be way too much to ask, but not for mine...and I never even had to ask. They were there then, they were there when things fell apart with Darrel's mother in 2014, and are still there continuing to look out for me and the girls in 2020! Miss You Mom!!

In closing, I encourage everyone to try and find some Positive in all that happens in their daily lives. Whatever it is, there is a good chance that it may never happen exactly like that again. Things can occur beyond our ability to control, fix, or even avoid. If I were to have focused solely on the Negative, I would be bitter, and of little use my daughters or to anyone else...including myself! This is often easier said than done, but I can speak from experience, it is a worthy goal to try and achieve.  Thank You.

Love and Miss You Little Man

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September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Please consider turning your Social Media Profile Gold to honour, remember, and support all the children who are literally in a fight for their lives. 

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May 26/20 - Wake Me Up...Twenty Years Has Gone So Fast

5/26/2020

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Today should be the day I officially no longer have a teenager to call my own, but in reality, because of neuroblastoma, that happened when Lauren turned 20 back in November 2018.  With the COVID-19 Pandemic we are currently going through, there would not have been much of a party allowed to happen now, but I'm sure Darrel would found a way to celebrate his 20th Birthday with his friends (probably not Gavin..The Boy with the Dinosaur shirt), possible girlfriend, and hypothetically my future daughter-in-law...but none of this was meant to be. But I do clearly remember the day he was born: the warm May afternoon at Groves Memorial Hospital; the fact that I got quite dizzy standing beside his mother (which was odd because I was perfectly fine with Kira and Lauren {though Grandma Webers passed out in the Delivery Room with Kira}...so I'll blame the heat in the Room...it's my Blog, so I can say that if I want to); the surprise and joy from Grandma and Grandpa Robb when we arrived with him back at the House (they were looking after Kira and Lauren) so soon after he was born (we weren't kept at the hospital afterwards long enough to even call them to let them know about his arrival...Cell phones still weren't that common of a thing back in 2000); and the wonder and awe as his sisters got to hold him for the very first time.  Of course, these memories have been tainted by those of September 9, 2007, when the Amazing Journey that started 20 years ago today came to an abrupt and unforgettable conclusion. In between those two dates, there were many times of joy and sadness, laughter and tears, and a wide range of every other emotion a person could possibly feel. Each moment will be with me forever, because those brief 7 years were all I was given with him, therefore every little story packs so much more meaning than it probably would otherwise.

Since my last Blog, Kira has completed her first year at Teachers College, though it was prematurely shortened due to the Coronavirus Outbreak. Much like with everyone else, this has caused confusion and uncertainty over how things will unfold for her in the future.  It is impossible for her to find the answers to the questions she has, because nobody knows what might happen tomorrow, next week, or next month.  We, as a Society, are all in Limbo, but for young people who were just beginning to embark on the next phase of their lives, this lack of any clear direction and focus can be even more unsettling.

Speaking of diving into the unknown, before the World was sent into all this turmoil, Lauren and Jacob bought a house in Guelph last Fall! This was a major step for both of them, and I would like to once again congratulate them on how they have handled things thus far. Fortunately they both have jobs where they were able to keep working through all that has happened over the past two months...the expenses and bills after such an undertaking have most likely been quite staggering.  Never been one to keep things the same for long, Lauren also adopted a dog shortly after moving into their new Home, welcoming Bailey to our extended family.

Being deemed an "Essential Worker" has also been quite the experience for me since March. Nobody would have predicted how important being employed at a grocery store would become through this Pandemic.  Other than in the Medical Field, very few businesses were allowed to remain open, so it was quite stressing emotionally and mentally through those early days and weeks. Society had to learn how to adapt and react as the situation evolved on an almost daily basis. Some people were able to make and deal with changes better than others, and we had to contend with both nearly every Shift at Work.  There are many stories I could tell, but this is hardly the Forum in which to do so. With Ontario doing a partial Re-Open last week, the lessons learned by the Food Retail Sector will now be applied in other sectors of the Economy. The Virus can only be controlled so much through social distancing and closures, so the road ahead will probably still have many more bumps for us all.

In conclusion, I'd like to once again say "Thank You" to all the people who have helped me along the way, and continue to support Darrel's Playground on the Website, on Facebook, and on Twitter (though I don't use it that much anymore).  It is greatly appreciated!


Happy Birthday Darrel!!!

Love and Miss You Little Man!!!


I'll keep with Tradition, and  I am still planning to have some Chicken McNuggets today, though I will need to go through the Drive-Thru. Due to COVID-19, customers are still not allowed inside McDonald's in Canada as of yet. Hoping this may change sooner rather than later.


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In Other News:

- The Darrel's Playground Website surpassed the 50,000 Hits mark on March 11th, which also happens to be Kira's Birthday. Thank You!

- Kira recently picked up The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild for her new Nintendo Switch. Darrel's love with the Zelda Series started from playing it during his many long stays in the Hospital, so I'm always somewhat pleased when another of Link's adventures finds it's way into the family setting.

- The International Neuroblastoma Awareness Week is just around the corner once more, running from June 15th to June 21st, 2020.  Please consider visiting and joining our Facebook Page:  http://www.facebook.com/NBawarenessweek 


- COVID-19 has had an impact on everyone, especially those with loved ones with pre-existing medical conditions and/or in the high-risk demographics. Maintaining an acceptable Social Distance is a challenge enough for the rest of us, but for those in more delicate situations, it is truly a Life or Death necessity.  I still communicate with people in the Childhood Cancer Community, so I know firsthand what new and unfortunate dynamics this has meant to them, and how they battle their child's cancer treatments. Big Hugs of Support to each and every one of you!


WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER...STAY SAFE AND THINK SMART!!!

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As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost...

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March 15/20 - What are "Essentials Services"...Now?

3/15/2020

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​What are "Essential Services"?

With the ongoing Coronavirus Pandemic, there are more and more people being quarantined, cancellations of Sporting and Entertainment events, closures of schools....and the list keeps getting longer. When any crisis hits, we automatically hear that "Essential Services" will remain functioning throughout whatever the situation happens to be. At first glance, such positions as Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics, and Police come to mind. This would surely be followed by at least some Power Infrastructure, Public Transit, and Road Maintenance Personnel (especially during Winter Storms). Whether we like them or not, we will still need some Politicians/Government Officials to co-ordinate all this too.

But this time around, things are a bit different. As the Outbreak stretches on, it is both comforting and somewhat disconcerting to know that Grocery Stores will remain Open (whether there will be any Toilet Paper left is another unsettling matter). The Public needs to know that the Supply Lines are there for them and their families, though some things may no longer be available. Since I am employed by a Grocery Store, it is good to know that there should still be a Pay Cheque coming in until this is all resolved. Odd though it may be, am I now considered "Essential" to helping our Society overcome COVID-19???
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The "Essential Services" label has also been used recently to my daughter's position at University. It has been decided that all the courses and exams will be conducted Online for the rest of this Semester, and that Students have been told they do not need attend classes or stay on Campus...BUT the Residences will remain functioning as planned. This is good, as many Students are unable to go Home or anywhere else with little or no notice. On the other hand, being in the position of a Head Resident, my daughter, as well as those who are Dons have been deemed "Essential" to maintaining the order and structure of Residence Life until the end of the Semester. On the surface, this is both reasonable and understandable, but somewhat troubling at the same time. She is still there, while so many others are being permitted and encouraged to leave as soon as possible. Definitely something any parent would think about.

​All I'm really saying is that for the time being, the "Front Lines" in this Outbreak seem to be expanding like never before, so please be considerate and patient. The people you come in contact are doing what they can, when they can...the best they can! Everyone would rather be at Home protecting themselves and their families too.


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These times are even more of a concern to pre-existing health compromised Loved Ones.  Whether they be old or young, they require access to certain resources now, more than ever before:

A More Serious Side of the Coronavirus...
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It has always been difficult enough to the Needed Supplies when they are needed before this Pandemic, but even more so now.
Please Buy What You Need...and NEED What You Buy

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    The majority of all these entries were written by Darrel's father, Stephen.  For those that are not, efforts have been made to give proper credit where it is due.

    The bulk of the posts are in the June 2011 Archives Section, as that is when I transferred them over to this site.  Category Tags should allow you to find entries easier.

    I've tried to correct spacing issues on many of the entries, as most of the older ones have been copied from different sites I've used in the past. I apologize if some have been overlooked.

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