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Aug 28/07 - The 'Dance Partner' Arrives

6/12/2011

2 Comments

 
The 'Dance Partner' Arrives
Category: Life
 
Since the last entry, alot has happened, yet not much has changed.  Darrel 
has been put on some different medications, and the base dosages of his
morphine have slowly and steadily been increasing.  His blood seems to be
clotting better on his surface scratches, but other signs indicate the internal
bleeding is continuing.  He does ask for food more often, but is not able to
eat much when he gets it, or unable to keep it down.  Though these things are
to be expected, that doesn't make it any easier to observe.

Yesterday, it was decided to finally set him up with a pain pump.  He  was
regularly needing several extra injections of morphine, and it was felt a 
continuous infusion would be easier and better for all concerned.  As he now 
spends all of his time in bed or on the couch, being attached to the device 
really isn't going to hinder his mobility.  Since any other movements are 
courtesy of "Daddy Air Lift", the pump shouldn't pose any problems.  Although
it is rather small and compact, it would have proved to be a much greater
annoyance  had Darrel been hooked up to his "dance partner" ( as his doctor
often calls it) at an earlier time.

Another unhappy, yet necesssary development was the completion and delivery 
of the urn which will soon hold Darrel's remains.  It is a beautiful wooden 
piece which was hand made by family friends.  They spent almost all their spare 
time rushing to finish it, as things were not looking very promising last week. 
There is some peace of mind knowing that task is dealt with, yet what it 
represents, and the fact it is sitting in the bedroom closet can be most 
unsettling at the same time.  Much like all the preparations for the funeral, 
the surreal and numbing emotions can be quite overwhelming when Darrel is there 
in the next room.

Darrel continues surprise us when we least expect it.  He had been laying 
on the couch watching TV when we heard some commotion across the road.  Rebecca 
and I got up to see what was going on, which turned out to be a neighbour doing 
some renovations.  Just as I was about to leave the window, I felt someone 
beside me...it was Darrel!  We had gotten himself up, and over to the window 
without us knowing he was even on the move.  There are countless examples of
how he is very much strong willed and independent minded when his pain is at a 
manageable level.  Even when he is getting a morphine injection, he'll tell me 
he can push it through himself...I just have to tell him when the proper time 
interval has elapsed.  Whether this is independence, or fear of me touching his 
central line (he has seen how I have a knack for being all thumbs with house 
repairs), I'm not sure, but the look he gives me would point more to the 
latter possibility, though he would never say it out loud.

With all the medications he is on, Darrel spends almost all day resting, 
but never accuse him of sleeping, because that appparently never happens 
according to him.   Family and friends are slowly realizing that any
opportunity to say good bye is becoming less remote, so there have been more
visitors lately.  While it is nice to see them, why it has taken some of them
this long to make an appearance is a mystery.   We have known since mid April
(when all chemo treatments were stopped) that he would not be be getting any
better, yet the absence of a visit or a simple phone call throughout the months
since  then is puzzling to say the least.  I would hope I would have been more
front and centre if the situations were reversed, but I certainly wouldn't want
to  have to test that assumption out.

We continue to do what we can to keep Darrel as happy and comfortable as we 
can.  If he has questions, they are truthfully answered as best as we are 
able.  The subject isn't really brought up otherwise with Darrel or the girls.  
Whether anyone of us really knows what to expect, and/or the lasting effect
this will have is up in the air.  The family will somehow get by, because it
HAS to.   With the way he has handled all that he has been through, to do any
less would be an insult to Darrel.  That must not be allowed to
happen.
2 Comments
Deanna Showers
8/28/2012 01:25:32 pm

I happened to be one of those lucky visitors....although 5 years have passed it certainly still feels like yesterday. That sweet boy's memory is always tucked away somewhere where I will never forget him. I always hope that he knew of his father's deep love for him and the vacancy that his death has left. I'm thankful for Stephan's blogs.......it's a great way to reflect and keep Darrel close and alive in our hearts! xo

Reply
Stephen
8/29/2012 01:35:02 pm

Your kindness now, as it was back then, is greatly appreciated. Thank You.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    The majority of all these entries were written by Darrel's father, Stephen.  For those that are not, efforts have been made to give proper credit where it is due.

    The bulk of the posts are in the June 2011 Archives Section, as that is when I transferred them over to this site.  Category Tags should allow you to find entries easier.

    I've tried to correct spacing issues on many of the entries, as most of the older ones have been copied from different sites I've used in the past. I apologize if some have been overlooked.

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