As 2012 comes to an end, I would like to take a moment to say Thank You once again for all the continued support Darrel's Playground followers on this site, Facebook, and Twitter have given us this year, and those in the past as well.  While sometimes it feels like I am writing these blogs (though they are often quite cathatic) to just myself, it is appreciated when others contact me, and share their memories of Darrel, or stories of their own families journey with  childhood cancer.  These are not always pleasant experiences, or have a happy outcome, but they all are important, and represent the lives of children who will remain loved by their parents forever.
 
A lot has happened over the past year, so here are a few of the Highlights:
 
March 2012: Took part for the first time in "Cuts for Cancer" in Guelph in support of Childhood Cancer Canada and St. Baldrick's. Though I didn't have much hair to lose, it was all about fundraising for childhood cancer, which made it all worthwhile.  Special Thanks to Lisa Kellenberger (Cuts for Cancer) and Melody Khodaverdian (Childhood Cancer Canada) for organizing the event, your Retweets on Twitter, and helping to make everything run as smoothly and successfully as it did!
 
If you wish to support us in "Cuts" 2013: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/kirladar13
  
May 2012: Took part in 11th Annual Mitchell Fraser Memorial Slo Pitch Tournament in Solina, Ontario for the second time. It is always good to meet up with friends, old and new, that come together to support neuroblastoma research at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.  The tournament took place on Darrel's birthday (May 26th), so it had extra meaning for me this year.  Special Thanks goes to Laura Fraser and her entire family for organizing and welcoming
us all each year to remember Mitchell, have a great time, and fundraise all at the same time.
 
June 2012: Darrel's Playground was one of the Canadian Administrators for International Neuroblastoma Awareness Week.  Special Thanks to Linza Corp (FAN) and Kevin/Dawn Burgess (Gold:The New Pink/SuperBub's SuperHeroes) for including us in this successful campaign.
 
Also in June, Team Darrel took part in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life in Fergus for the fifth year.  It was another emotional, yet rewarding experience for all participants.  I was also asked to speak during the "Fight Back" ceremony, spreading the word about neuroblastoma and childhood cancer.  Special Thanks to Team Darrel 2012: Stephen Robb, Kira Robb, Lauren Robb, John Robb, Helen Robb, Bryan Robb, Janet Willfang,  Kim McKnight, Morghan McKnight, and Erin Vink.  Also thanks goes to Event Chair  Jennifer Stewart-May, who makes sure everything runs seamlessly.
 
If you wish to support us at Relay 2013:  http://convio.cancer.ca/goto/kirladar13 
  
September 2012:  September 9th marked 5 years without Darrel.  It never gets easier, and it never will.  Thanks to everyone who remembered him on this, and every other day.  Love and Miss You Little Man.

November 2012:  Darrel's Playground began a partnership with Power of Play in the planned renovation of Stait Park in Fergus, to become with first barrier-free, fully accessible playground in the Centre Wellington area.  If we reach our fundraising target, Darrel's name will be included on the signage at the Park once it is completed.  Donations are still being accepted for this project.
 
For more information: http://www.darrelsplayground.com/1/post/2012/10/darrel-and-the-stait-park-renovation.html
 
December 2012: On December 12th, this website passed the 5,000 Hits mark.  We appreciate all whom have visited Darrel's Playground since it went active in June 2011.
 
December 14th will also be sadly remembered for the Sandy Hook  Elementary School shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 first-graders and six educators were shot to death.  It is heartbreaking for any parent to lose  their child, regardless of the reason, or age of the child. 
 
As a society, we all need to do more to protect the children of today, and children of the future, to all the dangers that may block to road to them living long and happy lives.  Whether it be an issue of Gun Control, or more funding for Childhood Cancer Research, if we moved together towards reaching our common goals, nothing could prevent us from reaching our objectives.

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A Special Thank You must also go out Sherry Blevins who has made dozens of beautiful graphics of Darrel over the past few years. In addition to Sherry, others have made graphics for Darrel's Playground as well.  These are all greatly appreicated by myself and my family.

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Watch Update:  After over 5 years, the battery in Darrel's Watch is still working.  It has lost about 15 minutes of time, but other than that, it is exactly set-up how he left it (including of course the Alarm to let him know when Pokemon would have started).

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Thank You Again
 
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
 
Stephen

I am pleased and excited to announce that Darrel's Playground will be a part of the Stait Park {on Garafraxa St. and Provost Lane} renovation and transformation into the first fully accessible playground built in Fergus and Centre Wellington!!  "Power of Play", a local group organized by Andy Speers (whose son Asher was born with Down Syndrome), hopes to raise the needed $150,000 - $175,000 to make this massive undertaking a reality.  With your support, "In Memory of Darrel Robb" will be included with other sponsors on the park's dedication sign.
 
Ever since I begun Darrel's Playground, I have wanted it to exist not only in cyberspace, but somewhere in the physical world as well.  Originally I had plans to do something at St. Joseph's Catholic School, where Darrel had attended Junior Kindergarten, but there have been several setbacks along the way, which  along with the passage of time, has made that option no longer
viable.  This project at Stait Park provides an excellent way to allow me to achieve some part of this dream, while helping the present and future children of my community a safe and  all inclusive, barrier-free area to enjoy the outdoors.
 
While there will be many fundraisers for the park in the future, I would greatly appreciate you donating through me directly to the Playground's account,  so that the funds will go towards getting Darrel's name on the sign. 

To become a "Bronze Sponsor", we need to raise at least $3000 over the next 18 months.   Every 2 months, I will transfer the money to Mr. Speers, who will then have the Township of Centre Wellington issue a Tax Receipt for all donations over $25.00, which I'll mail out to you once I receive them.
 
If you have any questions and/or interested in making a Donation and a Difference, please contact me: 

1. Through Facebook (if currently connected to me on that site)
2. Email: darrelsplayground@yahoo.ca
3. In Person (if in the Centre Wellington area)
4. PayPal available from "About Us/Fundraising" Page
  
Some articles on the Project thus far:
 

http://www.wellingtonadvertiser.com/index.cfm?page=detail&itmno=13344

http://www.wellingtonadvertiser.com/index.cfm?page=detail&itmno=13882

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Power-of-Play-Fergus/295596937215071?fref=ts
  
Thank You,
 
Stephen Robb
 
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The Power of Play Project is also currently participating in the Aviva Community Fund, which will donate finacial support to ideas/projects based on votes accumulated online.  Round 1 takes place from October 1, 2012 - October 15, 2012.
 
Please Vote for Power of Play at: http://www.avivacommunityfund.org/ideas/acf13678

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Update: Power of Play has made it through to the Semi Finals of the Aviva Community Fund Competition.  From Dec 3rd - Dec 12th, Please vote DAILY for our Project (use Link above).  Thank You

Five years ago today, we said our final goodbyes to Darrel.  It was a day I'll never be able to forget, and a day I don't want to forget either.  The pain of losing him has never quite settled, and it still lingers, and often haunts me:  his rapid downwards spiral that last week culminating in the horrible terrors he faced as both his mind and body betrayed him in those final hours; the internal and external pressures that were unnecessarily put upon my family by people who didn't know when to keep their opinions to themselves...these things need to be  remembered.  At the same time, the coming together of family, friends, community, and strangers from near or far to honour all that Darrel was and could/would and  should have been...these things need to be remembered as well.
 
To forget any part of what my son went through, or how he conducted himself at each and every step of his battle with neuroblastoma would be deemed to diminish a short, but extraordinary life.  Darrel faced every morning the same way he concluded every day...with a smile that could warm the coldest of hearts, and a determination that would not bend against odds that most adults could not even comprehend enduring.  There was never a thought of giving up...never a thought of surrender.  This is how my seven year old boy stood up to cancer. To forget any part of this, regradless of any emotional pain and anguish on my part...would be unthinkable and unforgivable.
 
Like most parents who have lost a child, I've become better over the years at hiding much of what I'm feeling inside...most of the time.  I've met lots of new people over the past 5 years, be it at social gatherings or at work, that probably have no idea what happened to Darrel and my family.  To dwell too much on the past every moment of every day would make it impossible to function on a daily basis, but this certainly does not mean I'm "over it". 
 
Losing a child leaves open a wound that will never heal.  If a person loses a physcial ability or limb, there doesn't seem to be a rush by those around the individual for them to "Get Over It".  There is almost always compassion and understanding, as others try to empathize and relate to what has happened.  This is not the case for us parents.  We are supposed to "Get Over It" according to  someone else's timeable.  This is not how it works!! We learn and we adapt to  the "new normal" as best as we can, but "getting over it" is a luxury and option we will never have.  While nobody can relate to how this feels without going through it themselves, they should at least not be so quick to judge how those of us that have chose to deal with our loss.
 
Much of my free time is spent on Facebook or Twitter attempting to spread awareness for childhood cancers in general, and neuroblastoma in particular, or writing Blogs such as this on Darrel's Playground or other sites. Because of time and other personal commitments, I do not always participate in as many events as I might like to, but I still think what I do does make a difference.   At the end of the day, it helps keep my sanity (I think), which after all we've been through, is an impressive accomplishment in itself.
 
In addition to sharing with other parents through Blogs and other Social Media, there are online Support Groups available specifically addressing Child Loss.  Like Support Groups you can physically attend, it is often more important to listen to others than personally contribute all the time.  People in our situation really need some empathy from those around us...not pity, not 
fear, and not being treated as an outcast by those we once called friends.  If talking to people who I probably never meet face to face helps us both mutually get through the days and years ahead...so be it.
 
No two situations are exactly the same when it comes to childhood cancer, regardless of type of diagnosis, place of treatment, or the financial situations of the lives turned upside down by the disease.  There is no one doctor, book, video, or meeting where you get all the answers to your
questions, as each and  every day brings endless new questions...and some of them may never properly be answered. 
 
With Darrel, like all other parents, we tried to make the best decisions we could, for our son and family, when they needed to be made.  You can not make neither a long nor short term plan, as everything can (and usually did) change in an instant.  To say that each day brought a new adventure is putting it too mildly.  We do not need others to second guess these choices that we have made, because, regardless of the outcomes, we are already continually
re-examining every single moment in our own minds each and every day, whether awake or
sleeping.  In addition to losing our children, this a a never ending battle we must face.  The "What Ifs" never have, and never will entirely go away.  The dreams Darrel had, and we had for Darrel, while never given the chance to persued, will not be forgotten. 

Five years ago today, I held my seven year old son's hand as he took his last breath...
 
NEVER...EVER...TELL ME TO "GET OVER IT"!!
 
Love and Miss You Little Man
  
  

Last Friday (June 15/12), Team Darrel participated in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life in Fergus for the fifth time.  Each year, family and friends join with me to honour and remember not only Darrel, but other loved ones touched by cancer.  As we all know, Cancer does not discriminate by Age, Gender, Religion, or Skin Colour.  Unfortunately, everyone has a story to tell, and I've always found Relay to be an excellent place to share those stories,  whether it be with people I know, or complete strangers brought together for the event.
 
As always, the Relay began with the Survivors' Introduction and Victory Lap around the course.  Each year, there are new faces added, and regrettably, others that are no longer with us to take part.  One of the new faces for 2012 was my father John.  Being a more private man, he had been reluctant to put on the Yellow Survivor Shirt in 2011, though he certainly qualified through his battle with prostate cancer.  His opinions were slowly altered after seeing others 
taking part, some he knew very well, yet never had any idea they had been dealing with cancer themselves.  While some cancers are brought on by lifestyle choices, others are not, and there is no need hide the fact, and/or feel ashamed.  It is not about drawing attention to ones self in a personal nature, but attention to the cause, and show that progress is being made (though unfortunately in some areas more than in others).  Several people came up to me early in the evening, and were surprised to learn about what my father had been through.  We may have lost Darrel, and countless others, but my father is still with us, and for that, I am very grateful!
 
"Remember", "Celebrate", and "Fight Back"...those are the 3 main thrusts that the Relay hopes to promote for the public, and of course, with all those participating.  My family remembered Darrel, celebrated my father's struggles, and this year, I was asked to help out in the "Fight Back" ceremony.  Due to a scheduling conflict, the original speaker was unable to make it to the Fergus Relay, so the organizers approached me the day before.  Though much of my presentation was already scripted, I did add details of Darrel's fight, and the need for awareness, and to Fight Back!  When Darrel was diagnosed, I had never heard of neuroblastoma, or that even childhood cancer existed. But my family and I know differently about that now, and hopefully others that heard my words will know about it now too.   It is important for us to not only be willing to join together against cancer at the annual Relay, or purchase Daffodils in April for Cancer Month.  Cancer does not ever rest, and neither should our
fight with it!!
 
I'm actually going to quote myself from a previous Blog, as the issue continues to be brought up: 

"There are many within the online community who continue to shun involvment in any functions by the Canadian and American Cancer Societies because of their poor track records in funding the various childhood cancers.  While I fully realize the dollars are disproportionally 
distributed among the various types of cancers, the Relay is still an excellent way for my family to pull together, and spread awareness about childhood cancer at the same time.  I am personally active with The James Fund, Childhood Cancer Canada, and St Baldrick's, but the Relay is sometimes more than enough for the other family members (and is the only event of its kind that actually takes place in a same town like ours).  We all try to do our
part, and everyone channels their energies and places their priorities in a different order.  Spreading Awareness is about Spreading Awareness...we should not be critical of others methods in the aim and goal is true and the same." 
 
This, in  a nutshell, is my opinion on the matter.  To each his/her own, but please remember we all want to achieve the same outcome.  Each year the Cancer Society allows me to put neuroblastoma and childhood cancer pamphlets in their Information Tent at Relay (though it is disappointing they don't have their own to share), and I am regularly asked to help out in some special way.  Spreading the Word is one of the most important aspects of what I do, and I appreciate every opportunity that presents itself to do so.
 
At this point, I'd like to say Thank You for everyone's contributions to making this year's Relay for Life the success it was!! With your efforts, Team Darrel raised $2,165.00 for the Canadian Cancer Society this year, bringing our collective 5 Year Total to $13,202.00!!!  The Fergus Relay donations came in at just under $44,000 for 2012!!!  Thanks Again!!
 
Team Darrel 2012 was: Stephen Robb, Kira Robb, Lauren Robb, John Robb, Helen Robb, Bryan Robb, Janet Willfang, Kim McKnight, Morghan McKnight, and Erin Vink.
 
In addition, another $75.00 was raised for The James Fund for Neuroblastoma Reserach at SickKids.
  
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June 11-17, 2012 was International Neuroblastoma Awareness Week.  Darrel's Playground was asked to help be a part of the Canadian Administrators for the online campaigns on Facebook and Twitter.  It was an honour to be involved in such a meaningful and rewarding experience on a global scale.  We received many posts, comments, and made new connections throughout the week, that we hope will keep neuroblastoma and childhood cancer awareness in people's minds for days,  months, and years to come.  As the Facebook and Twitter accounts are only
open  for a short period of time each year, we are planning to have a more organized  and structured website up and running for the 2013 event.  Thanks again to all  who visited and "Liked" our Page.

Another year passes...Another candle on the cake...seems simple enough...but for Darrel, and more and more children who fought, or are still fighting the battle against childhood cancer, this is not the case.  Today, Darrel could, should, and would have turned 12, if neuroblastoma had not devastated his little body, my family, and every thought of every day since he 
was first diagnosed back in September 2005.  Though there will be no song to sing, we have memories, both the good and the bad, and my son to honour...and that is exactly what we will do.  While there won't be any celebrations or parties, the best thing we can do today, and everyday, is to dust ourselves off,  and greet the morning with a smile and laugh...just like Darrel did.

Both Kira and Lauren continue to grow, mature, thrive, and make their parents proud, whether successful or not, with all they do!  Each enjoys being in the spotlight: Kira with her drama and improv aspirations; and Lauren with her baton twirling (including winning the Provincial Title earlier this month). With all they have been through at such young ages, it is surprisingly wonderful  how well the cope with it all, in addition to the rollercoaster of
life that comes with being teenage girls.

Unfortunately, time has not been so kind to another family member, Darrel's dog Lady.  Though she is only seven, and gave birth to 6 healthy puppies last summer, Lady's vision is becoming increasingly impaired.  At first it was slightly amusing when she started to miss treats or food being tossed at her (bouncing off her head sometimes), but as it became more apparent that it was because of a physical problem, the laughing stopped.  There is a whitish glaze/film over her eyes, and we believe that Lady has cataract eye disease.  Seeing her 
wandering around hopelessly looking for the ball that is right in front of her quite depressing to the family.  I never was a dog person, but Darrel wanted one after he was diagnosed, so Lady (and her puppy Bella that we kept) became a part of the family.

Another recent sad note, in a more general way, has been the "Warrior Eli" Hoax   http://warriorelihoax.wordpress.com  that has rocked much of  the online Childhood Cancer Awareness (CCA) community.  For those of you that  are unaware, scammers created an elaborate campaign in support of "Eli Dirr",  who ontop of battling cancer, had various other
hardships confronting his  family.  Many in the online community had opened their hearts and bank accounts  to assist the needs of the Dirrs.  Over the Mother's Day weekend, the hoax was exposed when the imposters' stories went too far.  It has since come out that  information and photos of several real families (including the majority from a  South African blogger) were complied to create the "Eli" persona.This has made  any of us re-evaluate our Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites  friendships, and group memberships to protect our own children from being  tainted by this scandal as well.  I deleted and/or was deleted by over 50 people from the CCA community in the wake of Eli. In most cases, it wasn't because of  anything that these individuals said or did, it just was the fact I didn't have  enough of a personal bond with them to know they were legitimate.  There are  many known scammers out there as well (who I won't honour with posting their  names on Darrel's page), but Eli caught most of us off guard.  Perhaps, after  this crisis has passed, things may go back to the way they were, but in the  meantime, there are Real Kids and Real Families that need our and your help to get through the unpleasant journey that may be before them. 

The local Relay for Life, in support of the Canadian Cancer Society, will be taking place on June 15th -16th in Fergus. The Relay for Life has proven to be a big part of  the Healing Process for my family. We have taken part each year since Darrel was  taken from us, and this will be our 5th time. Our family and friends join  together to remember his life, and what it could have been.  On April 25th, I  was asked to be on The Grand 92.9 with one of the Relay organizers to talk about  what the event meant to me.  It was a brief segment, probably not heard by many,  but if it changed one person's view on the cause, it was more than worth it!!

Team Darrel Relay Page:  http://convio.cancer.ca/goto/team-darrel


There are many within the online community who continue to shun involvment in any functions by the Canadian and American  Societies because of their poor track records in funding the various childhood cancers.  While I fully realize the dollars are disproportionally 
distributed among the various types of cancers, the Relay is still an excellent way for the family to pull together, and spread awareness about childhood cancer at the same time. I am personally active with The James Fund, Childhood Cancer Canada, and St Baldrick's, but the Relay is sometimes more than enough for the other family members (and is the only event of its kind that actually takes place in a same town like ours).  We all try to do our part, and everyone channels their energies and places their priorities in a different order.  Spreading Awareness is about Spreading Awareness...we should not be critical of others methods in the aim and goal is true and the same. 

In addition to being Darrel's Birthday, today is also the 11th Annual Mitchell Fraser Memorial Slo Pitch Tournament in Solina, Ontario (in honour and memory of Mitchell, lost to neuroblastoma in December 2001).  This will be my second year participating in the event, and I am looking forward to once again getting together with many of The James Fund families.  Though I might communicate with many them online throughout the year, this one of the gatherings that most people try to make an appearance at.  I'm certainly not much of a ball player, but it will be a fun, yet sometimes emotional day for all involved.

http://www.durhamregion.com/sports/article/1361285--mitchell-fraser-memorial-set-for-saturday-in-solina

Online Donations are be made at:
http://my.sickkidsdonations.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1371965#.T2NNt6Bqgyo.facebook
 

Thanks Again to everyone who takes the time to read my blogs and posts here on the main website, Facebook, or on Twitter.  These entries have helped me quite a bit over the years, and I've been told they have helped others too.  While I may not have new Darrel stories to share with you anymore, all that he was continues to shape the lives of my family on an almost daily basis...probably as much, or even more than if he still sat at the dinner table with us each night.

Happy Birthday Darrel!!

Love and Miss You Little Man