Category: Life
As many of you know, over the last few weeks, I've been organizing the Team
Darrel entry into the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay For Life. Although there
will be alot of emotions and walking taking place on that day in Darrel's name,
they will be nothing compared to those long walks I had with and/or because of
Darrel over his last two years with us.
I was downtown Toronto last month for the first time since Darrel died. We
were going to the "We Will Rock You" show that was playing at a theatre just
off Yonge at Dundas, in the heart of the city. Even though I couldn't see it,
I knew that the Hospital for Sick Children was only a few blocks away. Being
back on Yonge Street reminded me of many a journey Darrel had sent (ordered) me
on from his hospital bed (command post). Whether it be to the Dominion grocery
store to get some Dunkroos (only the ones with the vanilla frosting...or
else!), to Dollar Store to get the "right" size of mircowave safe Beefaroni, or
to the HMV to pick up the latest DVD release that he wanted to see, he kept me
quite busy.
But when it came time for lunch or supper, for Darrel, it all depended on
the weather. Although there is a Burger King located inside Sick Kids, their
Chicken Tenders weren't good enough for him if it was raining. He had heard
enough of our conversations to know that there was a McDonald's and Wendy's
several blocks north of the hospital on Yonge, where his beloved McNuggets and
Chicken "Shapes" could be found. Darrel would have to look out the window, or
if the room on that particular visit didn't have an outside view, he would page
the nurse to get a weather report (he wouldn't believe me) before making the
all important decision. If it was raining or blowing hard enough, it was time
for Daddy to go and face the fury of the elements. It didn't matter how hungry
he was...the extra wait time was acceptable if the outside conditions were to
his liking. Though I didn't enjoy leaving him alone for those added minutes
(or get soaked to the bone for that matter), it was worth it to see his face
light up upon my return. Darrel would say that he had been so hungry (even
more so because I apparently took too long), and the smiling was just for the
arrival of the food, but we both knew the grinning was due to the sight of the
dripping water coming off my coat hanging in the corner! On a few occasions I
thought of hopping on the subway to cut my time in half, but that would have
ruined the enjoyment Darrel got out of sending me on the adventure in the first
place. With all that he was going through, he more than deserved every giggle
and ounce of happiness I could possibly provide for him.
Over the spring and early summer of last year, we also had a couple of
long days on our feet as well. With Darrel's leg muscles weakening, and his
sense of balance questionable from day to day, pushing him around in his
wheelchair was usually my honour on our family excursions. The trips to
Canada's Wonderland and the Zoo certainly gave me a work-out, but I wouldn't
trade them for anything. I would only stop when told to, as I was his personal
Chauffer for the day (with of course, the needed 'Air-Lifts" to and from from
rides and other attractions he was interested in). There were also quite a few
times we would go to the park not far from our house when Darrel was having a
good day too. It didn't really matter if we weren't there that long before he
wanted to go back home, getting him out and about did us all a world of good.
Hearing the endless chatter, or him constantly telling everybody else to hurry
up made every step that much more worth taking.
With today being Mother's Day, I'm sure it will be especially hard on
Rebecca. She has already replanted the seeds that have been kept from the
marigold plant Darrel brought home for her on Mother's Day back when he was in
JK. This has been done annually each year since, but there is obviously more
meaning attached to them this time. Though having the girls here and healthy
is comforting, their love and presence will ever entirely replace the loss of
such a treasure as Darrel was.
As the days grow closer to what would have been his 8th birthday, more
emotions and memories are bound to surface, which is only natural, and will in
the long run, only help the healing process. Thanks again for your continued
support and concern.
Happy Mother's Day.