The below passage was written by my good friend Sherry Blevins, in honour and memory of her son James, and was originally posted on Facebook.
James "J.D." Scroggins
August 31, 1978 - March 26, 2002
*************************
Written by: SHERRY BLEVINS....AUGUST 24, 2013.....YOU MAY SHARE THIS IN THIS FORM ONLY.....PLEASE DO NOT CLAIM AS YOUR WRITING.....THANK YOU.....
THIS MAY ALSO BE USED FOR THOSE GRANDPARENT'S WHO HAVE LOST A GRANDCHILD AS THEY TOO HAVE SUFFERED THE ULTIMATE PAIN....MY DAD WOULD TOLD ME THAT HE FELT AS IF HE HAD ENDURED 2 LOSSES WHEN MY SON DIED BECAUSE A PART OF ME DIED ALSO.....
MY CHILD
When our Child died, a very large part of each of us died with our Child.....We are not contagious.....Our hope for each of you that have never lost a Child is that you never do and you never have to know our pain.....We aren't the same person as we were before our Child died and we will never be that person again.....
The horror of the scream that comes from a Mother or a Dad whose child has just died is one that will stay with you forever.....You don't know what to do as you lift that Parent from the floor where they have crumpled too.....Or as a Parent holds their Child's lifeless body in their arms begging for that Child to come back to them.....That late night phone call or knock on the door that a Parent receives letting them know that their Child is gone.....May you never know.....
It is a daily struggle with us just to survive in this world we are thrown into that none of us ever even imagined being in.....Yet some people will tell us that they understand.....They don't unless they have walked in our shoes.....May they never have too.....
When you ask us how we are doing, we struggle for an answer when in reality you don't want to know how we are for you can't understand......We are emotional and sometimes we just have to be alone......
You cannot understand that our pain in some ways keeps us tied emotionally to our Child.....We will never be okay.....Don't expect us to get over it.....It just doesn't happen.....For our Child is....Our Child was.....Our Child will be forever.....
When you see a photo of our Child.....Please don't say anything if you can't be nice.....Think about it.....Our Child will never have those updated photo's.....This is all we have left of our Child.....Respect us for what we are trying to do in keeping our Child's memory alive.....
I have heard the term "Grief Brain" and never had any idea what it was until I lost my Son.....it is real and each of us who has lost a Child knows it exists.....I sometimes wonder if we have it because we just aren't able to cope at that time.....
So I leave you with this thought.....Although with time we seem to get better but that doesn't mean we won't take some steps backwards.....Time NO longer means to us what it did before.....
In Memory of My Precious James
Sherry Blevins
August 24, 2003
James "J.D." Scroggins
August 31, 1978 - March 26, 2002
*************************
Written by: SHERRY BLEVINS....AUGUST 24, 2013.....YOU MAY SHARE THIS IN THIS FORM ONLY.....PLEASE DO NOT CLAIM AS YOUR WRITING.....THANK YOU.....
THIS MAY ALSO BE USED FOR THOSE GRANDPARENT'S WHO HAVE LOST A GRANDCHILD AS THEY TOO HAVE SUFFERED THE ULTIMATE PAIN....MY DAD WOULD TOLD ME THAT HE FELT AS IF HE HAD ENDURED 2 LOSSES WHEN MY SON DIED BECAUSE A PART OF ME DIED ALSO.....
MY CHILD
When our Child died, a very large part of each of us died with our Child.....We are not contagious.....Our hope for each of you that have never lost a Child is that you never do and you never have to know our pain.....We aren't the same person as we were before our Child died and we will never be that person again.....
The horror of the scream that comes from a Mother or a Dad whose child has just died is one that will stay with you forever.....You don't know what to do as you lift that Parent from the floor where they have crumpled too.....Or as a Parent holds their Child's lifeless body in their arms begging for that Child to come back to them.....That late night phone call or knock on the door that a Parent receives letting them know that their Child is gone.....May you never know.....
It is a daily struggle with us just to survive in this world we are thrown into that none of us ever even imagined being in.....Yet some people will tell us that they understand.....They don't unless they have walked in our shoes.....May they never have too.....
When you ask us how we are doing, we struggle for an answer when in reality you don't want to know how we are for you can't understand......We are emotional and sometimes we just have to be alone......
You cannot understand that our pain in some ways keeps us tied emotionally to our Child.....We will never be okay.....Don't expect us to get over it.....It just doesn't happen.....For our Child is....Our Child was.....Our Child will be forever.....
When you see a photo of our Child.....Please don't say anything if you can't be nice.....Think about it.....Our Child will never have those updated photo's.....This is all we have left of our Child.....Respect us for what we are trying to do in keeping our Child's memory alive.....
I have heard the term "Grief Brain" and never had any idea what it was until I lost my Son.....it is real and each of us who has lost a Child knows it exists.....I sometimes wonder if we have it because we just aren't able to cope at that time.....
So I leave you with this thought.....Although with time we seem to get better but that doesn't mean we won't take some steps backwards.....Time NO longer means to us what it did before.....
In Memory of My Precious James
Sherry Blevins
August 24, 2003
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