Missing Darrel: One Year Later
Category: Life
It is both impossible to believe, and unbearable to fully take in the fact
that a year has passed since Darrel's death. So much of my life has changed
since September 9, 2007, yet my son playing a huge part in every day of it has
not, and never will. There are constant reminders everywhere of all things
Darrel. Most of them are from happier times, which upon reflection can only
lead my thoughts back to how his life concluded one year ago today.
Before the new school started last week, parents everywhere were getting
their children ready for the return to class. Buying new clothes, shoes,
supplies and of cousre getting haircuts are always a must. I was getting a
haircut one day (though it doesn't take that long anymore, as there isn't much
left up to trim), and there were several young boys at First Choice as well.
It was almost painful inside to see such young and happy faces, and hear them
talk about how excited they were about the return to school, and seeing their
friends again. I should have been there with Darrel, but that was not meant to be.
Darrel only attended his Junior Kindergarten (JK) year, as we had to pull
him out in his second week of the following year. During that brief time in
school, I'm not sure what connections he made with his classmates. There no
doubt were the beginnings of long term friendships formed, but they never got
the chance to grow to that point. The one boy he did talk about frequently was
the dreaded "boy with the dinosaur shirt". Darrel did not get along very well
with this kid, and he was never spoken of in favourable terms. "My Nemesis" was
the other term Darrel referrred the boy as for the first two months of the
school year. I assume Darrel picked up the term 'nemesis' from one of the TV
shows he liked to watch, as it is not the kind of word you here very often.
Could have been from the Power Rangers, Pokemon, Kim Possible or Totally Spies,
where same evil doer regularly would do battle with the good guys on the
program. It wasn't until the class picture came home that we learned his real
name...Gavin, and he was indeed wearing a dinosaur shirt! I often wonder if
Darrel and Gavin would have got over whatever sparked their initial dislike of
each other, and would now be best friends. It is just one more question I'll
never have an answer to.
A year later, everyone in the family seems to have handled all that has
happened as well as could be expected, at least on the surface anyways.
Knowing how the little things can effect me in a big way, I can only imagaine
the impact it will continue to have on Kira and Lauren. The girls are free to
talk to us about anything that is troubling them, but whether they keep such
concerns buried internally as to not upset Rebecca or myself, I'm not so
certain. For now, the circumstances seem to be under control, but as I know,
the future can be full of both pleasant and unpleasant surprises.
With September being now recognized as Childhood Cancer Awareness Month,
the added media exposure makes thinking about Darrel even more unavoidable.
From being diagnosed in September of 2005, and all that in Septmeber of 2007,
chilhood cancer was already strongly tied to that month for my family already.
While much is done for the more "high profile" types of cancer, very little
is done for countless cancers that target children. I often here people
complain that seeing images of sick children in commercials is upsetting and
disturbing to them. I often want to respond that they are so very fortunate
they have the luxury of being able to just change the channel at such times and
go about their business as usual...for me these sights and emotions are so
deeply engrained they can never be removed, forgotten, or simply turned off
with the click of a button. If for a moment they feel uncomfortable enough to
help the cause in some way, perhaps another family will not have to go through
what mine has.
Today we start our second year without Darrel. Another round of birthdays,
his favourite holidays (Halloween and Christmas), and other daily occurrences
that will be somewhat diminished, even before they happen, without his presence
and his unique comments that would have most certainly would have been blunt
and to the point, but always memorable. Memories...that's all we have left of
Darrel now. Fortunately, the most part, they are vivid and plentiful ones.
Through the good times and the bad, all the highs and lows, his spirit and
sense of humour remained intact and unwaivering. This, and so many other
priceless Darrel moments, I will always remember, always treasure, and will
always miss.
Rest In Peace Darrel
Love Daddy
May 26, 2000 - September 9, 2007
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Category: Life
It is both impossible to believe, and unbearable to fully take in the fact
that a year has passed since Darrel's death. So much of my life has changed
since September 9, 2007, yet my son playing a huge part in every day of it has
not, and never will. There are constant reminders everywhere of all things
Darrel. Most of them are from happier times, which upon reflection can only
lead my thoughts back to how his life concluded one year ago today.
Before the new school started last week, parents everywhere were getting
their children ready for the return to class. Buying new clothes, shoes,
supplies and of cousre getting haircuts are always a must. I was getting a
haircut one day (though it doesn't take that long anymore, as there isn't much
left up to trim), and there were several young boys at First Choice as well.
It was almost painful inside to see such young and happy faces, and hear them
talk about how excited they were about the return to school, and seeing their
friends again. I should have been there with Darrel, but that was not meant to be.
Darrel only attended his Junior Kindergarten (JK) year, as we had to pull
him out in his second week of the following year. During that brief time in
school, I'm not sure what connections he made with his classmates. There no
doubt were the beginnings of long term friendships formed, but they never got
the chance to grow to that point. The one boy he did talk about frequently was
the dreaded "boy with the dinosaur shirt". Darrel did not get along very well
with this kid, and he was never spoken of in favourable terms. "My Nemesis" was
the other term Darrel referrred the boy as for the first two months of the
school year. I assume Darrel picked up the term 'nemesis' from one of the TV
shows he liked to watch, as it is not the kind of word you here very often.
Could have been from the Power Rangers, Pokemon, Kim Possible or Totally Spies,
where same evil doer regularly would do battle with the good guys on the
program. It wasn't until the class picture came home that we learned his real
name...Gavin, and he was indeed wearing a dinosaur shirt! I often wonder if
Darrel and Gavin would have got over whatever sparked their initial dislike of
each other, and would now be best friends. It is just one more question I'll
never have an answer to.
A year later, everyone in the family seems to have handled all that has
happened as well as could be expected, at least on the surface anyways.
Knowing how the little things can effect me in a big way, I can only imagaine
the impact it will continue to have on Kira and Lauren. The girls are free to
talk to us about anything that is troubling them, but whether they keep such
concerns buried internally as to not upset Rebecca or myself, I'm not so
certain. For now, the circumstances seem to be under control, but as I know,
the future can be full of both pleasant and unpleasant surprises.
With September being now recognized as Childhood Cancer Awareness Month,
the added media exposure makes thinking about Darrel even more unavoidable.
From being diagnosed in September of 2005, and all that in Septmeber of 2007,
chilhood cancer was already strongly tied to that month for my family already.
While much is done for the more "high profile" types of cancer, very little
is done for countless cancers that target children. I often here people
complain that seeing images of sick children in commercials is upsetting and
disturbing to them. I often want to respond that they are so very fortunate
they have the luxury of being able to just change the channel at such times and
go about their business as usual...for me these sights and emotions are so
deeply engrained they can never be removed, forgotten, or simply turned off
with the click of a button. If for a moment they feel uncomfortable enough to
help the cause in some way, perhaps another family will not have to go through
what mine has.
Today we start our second year without Darrel. Another round of birthdays,
his favourite holidays (Halloween and Christmas), and other daily occurrences
that will be somewhat diminished, even before they happen, without his presence
and his unique comments that would have most certainly would have been blunt
and to the point, but always memorable. Memories...that's all we have left of
Darrel now. Fortunately, the most part, they are vivid and plentiful ones.
Through the good times and the bad, all the highs and lows, his spirit and
sense of humour remained intact and unwaivering. This, and so many other
priceless Darrel moments, I will always remember, always treasure, and will
always miss.
Rest In Peace Darrel
Love Daddy
May 26, 2000 - September 9, 2007
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
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