Bella, Baxter, Genie, Brownie, Lilly, and Big Boy. Those are the names (currently) given to the six puppies Darrel's dog Lady had on July 24th. We will be keeping Bella (Twilight is very popular with Rebecca and Kira) as a second dog, and Baxter will be going to live with my parents (Grandpa with a Car) The pups are almost 7 weeks old now, and soon they will be old enough to go to their new homes (once we find each of them one). Our family has become
growingly attached to them all, especially the girls.
Rebecca, Kira, Lauren, and to a somewhat lesser extent myself have been quite involved with their care and development since the first day onwards. It has been a much more intensive and consuming endeavour than we first thought it would be (as we were only expecting Lady to have 2 or 3...not 6!!). But, from the birthing, feeding, cleaning, caring for, loving, training, playing with, and eventual separation, the girls will have gone through a wide range of
experiences and emotions with these puppies that will probably prove to be rewarding for them in the future.
With the coming of the puppies, there has been a steady influx of family, friends, and
potential buyers through our home over the past two months. In many ways, it reminds me of four years ago, when Darrel's days with us were slowly, yet ever so quickly, dwindling away. Then too, we had many visitors stopping by. There were relatives and acquaintances we had not seen and/or talked to in years, and strangers and well-wishers dropping off cards or casseroles. While the reasons for these household guests are dramatically different, the
connection to both, even after all this time is still...Darrel.
I can (unfortunately) only imagine what he would have thought of his 'Pups' having six puppies of her own! The names would have been alot different, with Darrel adding his special flare to that important decison. The fight over which of them we would be keeping, and
everything else that would go along with are now added to the memories that were never allowed to be created.
It has already been a nosiy and busy morning here. I've always been an early riser, even on my days off, so needless to say I'm always the first one up. Once a light is turned on in the house, the puppies think "Play Time" has begun. As I drink my apple juice, I must step very carefully, not knowing where the tiny creatures have deposited their morning offerings all over the floor.
For me, it would not be a proper celebration of all things Darrel without Apple Juice, and McDonalds later in the day. He would probably have hated both by now, and had a long list of new favourite things. But all his likes and dislikes became frozen in time, and in my heart, on September 9, 2007.
Like it is every year, it is hard to believe the four years have gone by since neuroblastoma took my son from me. So much has changed in our family with his absence, but our lives were so much enriched during his far too brief of time with us. It is impossible to
comprehend all that was, is, and could/should have been, if fate had plotted a different course for Darrel and the rest of us. Many people say that "everything happens for a
reason", but I have never met someone who could actually explain the logic in all this to me.
I know I've mentioned the "what ifs" in countless blogs before, but they are always lurking somewhere at the back of my mind. The memories are reminders what we had, and lost
together, but they sometimes make me want to second guess decisions made long ago as well. The past is most certainly in the past, and there is nothing any of us can do to change it, yet the human mind can occasionally try to convince you otherwise. This is the way it has
always been, and most likely will continue to be.
Love and Miss You Little Man <3
Please remember that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Showing your support can be as easy as changing your Profile Picture on Facebook or Twitter, wearing a Gold Ribbon, or making a donation to The James Fund for Neuroblastoma Research at
SickKids in Toronto.
The Facebook Event that the Playground is sponsoring has been a great success!! If you
want to join us, please visit: