Goodbye 2011
Category: Life

Since my last blog in September, all of Lady's puppies have found good new homes.  As I mentioned previously, we kept one (Bella - Rebecca and Kira are both Twilight fans), my parents took one (Baxter), and the other four were sold on-line.  It is interesting to see the developmental and personality differences between Bella and Baxter when they get together for their weekly visits.  Of course, all siblings are different and unique, regardless of
whether they are  human (Kira, Lauren and Darrel varied in staggering amounts right from the beginning; and the girls still do now) or animal.  We are still in contact with one to the people who bought a  pup, who strangely enough has discovered that a friend of her sister also  purchased a dog from us!  The girls enjoy now being able to keep tabs on 4 of  the 6 pups from Darrel's pup.

There was a bit of a diversion for Lauren and myself on September 9th, as we went down to a Blue Jays game in Toronto with a bus load of co-workers.  This was her first time to the Rogers Centre/Skydome, and she really had a good time with the experience (though the Jays lost 2-0 to Baltimore).  It seemed odd, and somehow wrong doing something fun on the 4th anniversary of his death, but it  also felt right to be sharing a new adventure with my daughter. Darrel only got a chance to play soccer for one year before being diagnosed with
neuroblastoma, so I'm not sure if he would have been much of a baseball fan (nor get a chance to do the stereotypical "Playing Catch With Dad" that many of us had growing  up).  Perhaps he was there with us, as a photo taken of Lauren and I had an Orb  right beside us. I'm still not sure what to make of the so-called Orbs being spirits, yet it surprising when and what pictures they seem to appear in from time to time (but that's a whole other blog).

On October 23rd, the girls and I finally got down to Canada's Wonderland.  We had already purchased tickets (caring for the puppies was a full time job for most of the summer), and this was the second to last weekend the Park was going  to be open for the season.  At least by going then, the line-ups were much shorter (but it was of course colder, and the water attractions were all closed), and we were able to do the famed "Halloween Haunt" (which was Spooktacular!!).  Each visit there now reminds me of Mother's Day 2007, when our entire extended family went to be with Darrel.  There were quite a few ups and  downs on that day, but it went and ended well for the most part.  While Wonderland changes in varying degrees each year, some things do stay the same.  Rides like 'The Fly' and 'Swings of the Century' bring back memories of Darrel and his unique take on things.  Places like an ordinary bench, that to everyone else are insignificant, hold a meaning to me, and rare trips like that to 
Wonderland stir constant flashbacks...some good, others not so pleasant.  
 
As 2011 draws to an end, it is time once again to give thanks to my family, friends, and all of you who have visited and supported Darrel's Playground this year.  While raising awareness for childhood cancer can be emotionally draining and time consuming, together, we strides we make towards a cure are more than worth it!!  Here are some of the highlights from this year:

May 28: Participated in the Mitchell Fraser Memorial Slo Pitch Tournament.  It was a great day and event, raising $20,592.40 for neuroblastoma research at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto (with a ten year total of $173,600). 
 
June 17-18: Team Darrel took part in Fergus Relay for Life, raising $2800 for the Canadian Cancer Society (with our four year total of $11,100).

July: Launched the official www.darrelsplayground.com and Twitter account www.twitter.com/DRsPlayground to go along with the  pre-existing Facebook group http://www.facebook.com/groups/19938025448/ .  With all the  problems going on at MySpace, the original Playground account was closed as well.

October:  Darrel is/was one of the children featured on Debbie Calhoun Ware's Childhood Cancer Awareness Mobile in Dublin, Georgia.  Unfortunately, this is a Work In Progress, and more names are added almost every week..

October 29:   Supported Super Bub's Super Heroes in the Ultimate Hike in Michigan for CureSearch.
 
November 19: Darrel was included on 'Kids Get Cancer Too' float in the Santa Claus Parade in Bowmanville. Thanks to Wendy Payne Tenhunen for putting this together.

December: Darrel is one of 96 children featured in the Team Unite 2012 Calendar in support of CureSearch.  Thanks to Heide Randall to including him.

http://www.cafepress.com/teamunite.412703703 
 
A special thanks needs to go out to Sherry Marsh Blevins for creating several graphics/images in honour and memory of Darrel.  This is greatly appreciated!!

I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  I am very thankful for your continued interest and support of the Playground and my family.

(P.S. I haven't updated on Darrel's watch for a while, but the battery is still going strong since it was last replaced 5 years ago.  The alarm still goes  off to remind Darrel when Pokemon {at the time} would start {though now it is an hour earlier with Daylight Savings Time}.  It still brings a smile to my face  {on most days} to hear the noise and remember who/what/where/ and why it represents.)

September Dogs: Four Years Later
Category: Life

Bella, Baxter, Genie, Brownie, Lilly, and Big Boy.  Those are the names (currently) given to the six puppies Darrel's dog Lady had on July 24th.  We will be keeping Bella (Twilight is very popular with Rebecca and Kira) as a second dog, and Baxter will be going to live with my parents (Grandpa with a Car) The pups are almost 7 weeks old now, and soon they will be old enough to go to their new homes (once we find each of them one).  Our family has become 
growingly attached to them all, especially the girls.

Rebecca, Kira, Lauren, and to a somewhat lesser extent myself have been quite involved with their care and development since the first day onwards.  It has been a much more intensive and consuming endeavour than we first thought it would be (as we were only expecting Lady to have 2 or 3...not 6!!). But, from the birthing, feeding, cleaning, caring for, loving, training, playing with, and eventual separation, the girls will have gone through a wide range of 
experiences and emotions with these puppies that will probably prove to be rewarding for them in the future.

With the coming of the puppies, there has been a steady influx of family, friends, and
potential buyers through our home over the past two months.  In many ways, it reminds me of four years ago, when Darrel's days with us were slowly, yet ever so quickly, dwindling away.  Then too, we had many visitors stopping by.  There were relatives and acquaintances we had not seen and/or talked to in years, and strangers and well-wishers dropping off cards or casseroles.  While the reasons for these household guests are dramatically different,  the
connection to both, even after all this time is still...Darrel.

I can (unfortunately) only imagine what he would have thought of his 'Pups' having six puppies of her own!  The names would have been alot different, with Darrel adding his special flare to that important decison.  The fight over which of them we would be keeping, and
everything else that would go along with are now added to the memories that were never allowed to be created.
 
It has already been a nosiy and busy morning here. I've always been an early riser, even on my days off, so needless to say I'm always the first one up. Once a light is turned on in the house, the puppies think "Play Time" has begun. As I drink my apple juice, I must step very carefully, not knowing where the tiny creatures have deposited their morning offerings all over the floor.
 
For me, it would not be a proper celebration of all things Darrel without Apple Juice, and McDonalds later in the day. He would probably have hated both by now,  and had a long list of new favourite things.  But all his likes and dislikes became frozen in time, and in my heart, on September 9, 2007.

Like it is every year, it is hard to believe the four years have gone by since neuroblastoma took my son from me.  So much has changed in our family with his absence, but our lives were so much enriched during his far too brief of time with us.  It is impossible to
comprehend all that was, is, and could/should  have been, if fate had plotted a different course for Darrel and the rest of  us.  Many people say that "everything happens for a
reason", but I have never met someone who could actually explain the logic in all this to me.

I know I've mentioned the "what ifs" in countless blogs before, but they are always lurking somewhere at the back of my mind.  The memories are reminders what we had, and lost
together, but they sometimes make me want to second guess decisions made long ago as well.  The past is most certainly in the past, and  there is nothing any of us can do to change it, yet the human mind can occasionally try to convince you otherwise.  This is the way it has
always been, and most likely will continue to be.


Love and Miss You Little Man  <3

*************************

Please remember that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  Showing your support can be as easy as changing your Profile Picture on Facebook or Twitter, wearing a Gold Ribbon, or making a donation to The James Fund for Neuroblastoma Research at
SickKids in Toronto.

The Facebook Event that the Playground is sponsoring has been a great success!!  If you
want to join us, please visit:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=137069013049800

Boundless Playgrounds?
Category: Life

As some of you may know, this week I purchased the domain name
www.darrelsplayground.com , and the site is now officially online!!!  Between the Facebook
issues when the Group Formats recently switched  over, the fate of MySpace (with or without
Justin Timberlake) being still up in the air, and the crash of our home computer's hard-drive, I decided that I needed another fallback in case something else unexpected were to occur.  A friend on mine (Hi Tanya) introduced me to Weebly "Build Your Own Website", and I have used it as a launching pad to create a stand alone (or so I thought) Darrel's Playground.

Whether searching on Google, or even just on Facebook, it isn't that hard to see that very few personal names are entirely unique.  I've come across different individuals with the same first, last and middle initial as  myself, but know of others who have found people with the same middle name as their own too.  However, it did surprise me that even the title Darrel's  Playground had more than one match!  I came up with the "Darrel's Playground" one day after returning from the school park with Darrel and the girls.  Little did I know
that it wasn't so original in the greater scope of things. 

A few hours after purchasing the domain name, I went on Google to see if, how and/or where my new website was listed on the database.  The majority of those entries were from sites I had posted something in the past, or a reference made to my Darrel by other person I was in contact with.  Four of the more interesting other Darrel's Playgrounds I found were:

Darrell's Dream Boundless Playground -  Located in Kingsport, Tennessee (Hi Lori), this park is one of over 200  ( www.boundlessplaygrounds.org )  creations scattered throughout North America (there is actually one in Orangeville, not far from where we live).  Boundless
Playgrounds hope "to build truly inclusive playgrounds where children — and adults — of all abilities can play and learn together in a fun and welcoming environment....[and to] create a world where ALL children have the opportunity to gain the developmental and health benefits 
derived from unstructured play in an inclusive environment."  Darrell's Dream opened in
2002, and was named after Darrell Rice, a past local  Kiwanis President, who was a driving force behind the structure in Warriors Path State Park.        

http://www.kingsportkiwanis.org/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=33&Itemid=41

Darrel's Math Playground -  There was several connected webpages that comprise the Math
Playground Network, and Darrel Duenas has one of these sites.

http://darrelduenas.multiply.com/links/item/2
 
Darrell Brown's Playground - Brown, an acclaimed songwriter and producer released his
"Playground" CD in 2010.  In the past he has worked with Keith Urban, LeAnn Rimes, Bon Jovi and Faith Hill.  Much of "Playground" has featured in EA's The Sims 3 video game.

Deanna and Darrell's Playground - As this exists only on MySpace (where I first set up
Darrel's webpage), it's kind of odd I have not come across this one before.  I know little about
this page, as it is a private account, and only shows a scantily clad couple (Deanna and
Darrell I would assume) in an embrace. Considering MySpace usually monitors such things it probably isn't too risque, but I'll never know regradless.

Since I know that there perhaps could be web-surfers looking for those other sites coming my way, I have relabelled my site "Darrel's Memorial Playground" to hopefully avoid any
confusion.  One would hope that this would suggest to such people that it might not be what they were searching for.  For now both the Facebook and MySpace accounts will remain open, but I have closed Darrel's 'Believe For Boey' and CarePages webpages.  Now that I have
established  a more independent base, I should not need to stretch myself out as much.

P.S. On another note, in keeping with tradition, we went to see Transformers 3: Dark of the
Moon during its opening weekend a few days ago.  The first movie will always have a special place for me and my time with Darrel.  Unfortunately, this film, much like Revenge of the
Fallen, was a disappointment for me.  I've always been more about a strong storyline than
the kind of 'Bay'hem and destruction Michael Bay is famous for.  The addition of 3D was
a nice touch, but it just wasn't enough to impress me.  It was Less 'than meets the eye".

I don't think I've mentioned on here yet, but Darrel's dog Lady is currently very pregnant, and should be having puppies by the end of the month.  Even though I never was a 'dog person', Darrel asked for one after he was diagnosed back in the Fall 2005, and Lady arrived shortly after that. I'm sure he would have loved to have seen this moment...and all the others leading up to it and afterwards as well.

Relay 2011 Recap
Category: Life


This past Friday (June 17-18), Team Darrel participated in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay For Life in Fergus. Being the fourth time doing so, there weren't as many surprises as in the past, but there still were a few. While the clouds were not looking very promising mid afternoon, by the time the majority of the people began arriving, we had clear blue skies, and alot of relieved faces of all involved. While the event goes rain or shine, and/or hot or cold (we've certainly had some of each over the years), the weather can play a big role in how the night unfolds.

I was happy that both Kira and Lauren had friends that were either part of our team, or were volunteerring at the Relay. While there are lots of fun and light-hearted games and activities that take place through the night, there are also segments that can be emotional, and often take there toll on us all at different times and in different ways. Having close non family
members to be with them through those tougher times is a blessing and is a healthy part of
the healing process. Either way, 12 hours is a long to keep younger people occupied and out of their parent's hair (or what little I have left of it).

As always, the Fergus Pipe Band led the Survivor's Lap around the course track encircled by the yet to be lit luminaries. While many of the individuals were the same as years previous, there were unfortunately were some people no longer with us, and the equally sobering fact that there were also numerous additions to those present. You can see the determination and perserverance in many of their eyes as they pass by those of us cheering them on. The fact that there were any youung face is both a blessing and distressing.  I know first hand that there are far too many cases out there of Childhood Cancer, and the fact there are so few 'survivors' to take part in such events makes me uneasy at times.

Even though the Relay itself starts at 7PM, it isn't until the Luminary Lighting Ceremony at around 10PM that the reality of it all set in. From out of the darkness, hundreds of tiny candles begin to flicker and glow around the track, each representing a life where cancer has been an unwelcome and significant intruder. As Team Captain, I was fortunate to help light many of the luminaries, including a few of Darrel's. It may not seem like much to many
of you, but it certainly is/was important to me.

While much of the night continued as in the past, there was a new 'Fight Back' ceremony that was held. Each team had earlier been given a wood plank and told to write all the cancers that had touched the lives of members. Later on, team representatives were called onto the stage to watch the local karate club break the board, thereby showing cancer it could and would be defeated. Beacuse this had not been done before, it was special and unique. I'm sure if this is repeated next year, it won't feel quite the same, but there are always those in 
the crowd joining the event for the first time.
 
The Cancer Society has not released the final totals yet, but Relay Night they announced Fergus had raised at least $76,000 this year!!!! Considering the size of our area, that makes the amount even more impressive. Our team came in 7th Place with just under $2800 in contributions collected (an extra $60 was also donated for The James Fund)! It was another amazing night, and I look forward to being a part of the Relay again next year.

Team Darrel 2011 was: Stephen Robb, Kira Robb, Lauren Robb, John Robb, Helen Robb, Bryan Robb, Janet Willfang, Sharon Snider, Erin Vink, and Mackenzie Wass.

Playground Memorial Luminaries were lit for: Mitchell Fraser, Christopher Gist, and Sierra Chamblee

Special Thanks goes to the following:

Zehrs 539 Employees - This year I held two 50/50 Draws at my workplace to support Team Darrel. While other teams held Bake Sales or BBQs, I figured I would probably have ate all the profits myself, so a 50/50 seemed like the best way to go. Almost $400 worth of tickets were sold within the one store. An additional thanks goes to Mike Napier, the winner of the 2nd draw, who donated his winning pot of $85 back to our cause!! 
 
Kim and Morghan McKnight - Though they could not participate with us this year, they
provided some treats to help keep us going!
 
Superstars Baton Club - A big thanks to Krista, Bailey, Emma, Mackenzie and Madison for
stopping by very early Saturday morning before travelling to the competition in Richmond
Hill. Lauren and I appreciated your efforts to support your fellow Superstar! 
 
Thanks Again to all team members, past and present, and all those who have supported useach and every year. Without you, none of this would have been possible!!
 
P.S. On May 28, 2011 I took part in the 10th Annual Mitchell Fraser Memorial Slo Pitch
Tournament in Solina. It was a great day and event, raising $20,592.40 for Neuroblastoma Research at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto (with a ten year total of $173,600).
Even though I have been communicating with Laura (Mitchell's mother) and Lisa (Nick's mother) on Facebook for a few years, it was nice to finally meet them in person.

Missing You: Eleven in Heaven
Category: Life 

Another May 26th has arrived, the fourth one without the Birthday Boy here to celebrate it with his family. Darrel should have being turning 11 today, but the that was not meant to be. As his sisters continue to grow and mature, it is impossible not to to try and imagine Darrel with them, and what things could and should have been like. With all that happens to Kira and Lauren each and every day, how would things have been different if their younger brother was with them at school, on the bus, or during the anythings and everythings that will make up their lives.

Birthdays of young children are suppose to be about the promise of what the future may hold for them: their hopes; their dreams; their fears; and the magic and mystery of the years ahead. For Darrel, and so many others touched by childhood cancer, birthdays are a time of reflection and remembrance. Recalling those times are both a blessing and a curse to me, now and for always. Many say you have to take the Good with the Bad, but what good is there is watching your 
7 year old son take his last breath? Where is the silver-lining in that dark cloud that still hovers over our home?? These are questions, like so many of the other "what ifs" surrounding Darrel's journey, that will never have answers that make any sense or give me complete peace of mind.
 
In other related stories, since my last blog, there have been a few developments involving the Playground. First off, earlier this month Facebook began the process of reformating the structure of all its Group pages. After Darrel's Playground flipped over, all this previous
Blogs/Notes/Discussion Board topics were lost! This was both unexpected and unnerving to me, as well as countless others who had their groups information removed and/altered without any prior warning. While I do have these backed up elsewhere, it is going to take some time to restore 6 years worth of entries to the site. I still don't know how/when I'm going to go about doing that, but they were a major component to this Group, and the needs to be resolved in the near future.

This coming Saturday, May 28th, I'll be taking part in The 10th Annual Mitchell Fraser Memorial Slo-Pitch Tournament in Solina, Ontario. Money raised will go to the James Fund for
Neuroblastoma Research at SickKids. We've been invited to several James Fund events in the past, including Darrel's SickKids's buddy Kyle's annual Family Day Skate, but for various reasons, have been unable to attend. I've chatted with many of these parents a great deal over the years 
on Facebook, but have yet to actually meet them face to face. Hope the weather co-opeartes, and all involved have a great day!!

On June 17-18th, Team Darrel will be participating in our fourth Relay For Life here in Fergus! I set the team fundraising goal at $1,500 this year, and with 3 weeks to go, we should have no
problem achieving this amount (currently at $730). The Fergus event already has more teams
signed up than last year, and has collected over $18,000 thus far. Anyone wanting to pledge our team can contact one of us directly, or do so online at:

http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_odd_?px=1675869&pg=personal&fr_id=8735
 
In closing, I'd like to thank everyone who is still part of this group! As I mentioned, the Facebook switch-over did not go over very smoothly, and several people left the Playground before the automatic spamming issues were properly addressed. I try to keep things on here current, without being too aggressive or pushy, but sometimes people think otherwise. This is unforunate,
but it is also a part of life. Raising Awareness is a large part of what this page has evolved into, and that does require some contact between us from time to time.

Thanks Again for being part of this community, and allowing me to share Darrel with you all.

The Apple Juice is Chillin' in the Fridge, the Ring Pops are in the Cupboard, and The Flintstones are secure.

Happy Birthday Little Man!! 
 
P.S. If you haven't already watched it, here is a link to the Tribute Video my friend Debbie
Tompkins made in honour of Darrel's Birthday.


http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=e02e8cc60dc06eedf2204f&skin_id=1901&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

Another Year Gone
Category: Life

Welcome 2011!  As we enter the new year, let me once again Thank You all for being members of Darrel's Playground.  Your continued support of myself, my family, and the goal to raise awareness for Childhood Cancer is more than greatly appreciated!!

While the Relay For Life was still  the 'Main Event' so to speak for our efforts, there were
several different organized campaigns conducted on Facebook in 2010.  Whether it be
something as simple as changing your Status Picture or Update, to something with a bit more participation, many of you were able to help keep the cause front and centre as much as possible.

Christmas has never been the same for us without Darrel, with the season just past being no exception. With the Christmas Tree being set-up in the basement for the first time, it certainly did give a different feel to the holidays.  Though the tree was a bit more out of sight, it
certainly was not out of mind.  It was still adorned with the hand painted decorations that
Darrel completed during his inpatient stays at the Grand River Hospital in Kitchener.   This
was our fourth Christmas without him with us, but his presence was never hard to find.

Unfortunately, over-shadowing all of this, was once again cancer touching my immediate
family.  While there may not be alot of similarities between neuroblastoma and prostate
cancer....Cancer is still cancer. Seeing your father lying in a hospital bed in discomfort,
attached to beeping machines, is no easier than seeing your son in the same situation.  His
treatments and hospital stay were less intense and fewer than Darrel's, but the emotional
involvement still takes its toll.  Flashbacks to my son's treatments could not be avoided,
 which did not help matters for all concerned.

Though the prognosis is very favouring for him, and the surgery in early December being
deemed a success, several medical complicatoins continue to mar his road to recovery. 
Things are now moving in the right direction, and hopefully are no more obstacles to
encounter in the near future.  Kira and Lauren have been told that this kind of cancer is more common, and procedure is almost considered routine (which is sad but true),  I'm sure it is
still troubling for them to see yet another family member going through such an ordeal.

Without a doubt, the new year will bring us all a series of ups and downs, trials and
tribulations, and happiness and sorrow.  Together as a family, with the assistance of friends,
co-workers, and the kindness of strangers, we will continue to grow and thrive in the days,
months, and years ahead.  Thanks for being a part of this journey with me.